I spoke with the home study agency this week and FINALLY got a date for our home study! April 29th we will complete this major hurdle in our path. I never thought that we would be waiting for this step for so long. I imagined that the paper chase was going to be the big headache in the dossier process, but I am loving the paper chase in comparison to the hassle we have gone through in just scheduling the home study.
When I called the social worker she originally wanted to know if I had my schedule for May. I just about lost it right there! ARE YOU KIDDING? I informed the social worker that if she was really that booked then we needed to be assigned another case worker that could handle the load and maintain realistic timelines. After that she was more open to looking for a date in April. (We have to hire our own agency and pay for these services out of our pocket. This is not someone that is “assigned” like when using the domestic systems.)
The next step before the home study is a major cleaning sweep of the house. I know that we would be just fine without the stress. Our home really is not that messy. Ray thinks that I am crazy to put myself through this extra effort, but it will make me feel better. Besides I am sure that the case worker is not my biggest fan right now, and I don’t want to give her any reason to doubt us (even if this thought process really is unfounded).
Throughout this process I keep trying to tell myself that all of these trials are happening for a reason. I believe everything happens for a reason. My husband reminded me before I spoke with the case worker that in my logic-that everything happens for a reason- it applies to both good and difficult situations. That if I can remind myself that ultimately these things may be happening so that we will be matched with OUR child- then there is a purpose. (I hate it when he uses my words against me- especially if he is right)
Right now is the time for me to have faith. I try to remind myself that it is not my timeline that I am working on. It is not even my plan that I am following. I KNOW that Ray and I were called to be adoptive parents, and that our child will be born in China. I know that there is a bigger picture here. I just wish that I could get this patience thing down so that God would stop trying to teach me about it! ;-)
Xiao Hai I love you and I will keep working toward you!