Sunday, April 26, 2009

My Week

This week has been full of ups and downs.  The beginning of the week I was involved with a Pediatric Advanced Life Support class (PALS) for my job.  While I was there I had the wonderful opportunity to meet a lady named Toye (for my family this is even more ironic because that is my maiden name).  She is also adopting from China and has a Logged in Date (LID) of March 2006. (  This means that she will be receiving her match VERY soon.  The last round of placements for our agency were through the LID of March 8th.  I really think that she will be in the next round of matches!  How exciting!

I actually didn’t even get to meet her until the second day of the class.  We both had so much to talk about once we were introduced that I wish that we had met sooner.  No big deal though- she works in the same hospital as I do, and we have swapped info now.  I have also asked Peggy from the Freshwater ladies and she has given me the okay to invite her to the get togethers on Tuesday night.  I made a new friend this week!

Paperwork went to the Houston Consulate this week.  It is not the full bunch that will eventually clear this consulate but it feels like I am getting SOMETHING done.  Positive side- our home study is THIS coming Wednesday!

The down part of the week was another wake up call for me in this crazy process.  I keep forgetting that I really can’t do anything until this magic birthday coming up.  In Chinese adoption the magic birthday is 30.  I guess I should be dreading this number as I know some of my friends have, but for me it is quite the opposite.  Until I am 30 we can not send in a Letter of Intent or LOI.  I learned this hard fact this week.

I was checking up on my Yahoo discussion group when someone posted that there was a new profile on the waiting child website.  Since CCAI is able to match most of the profiles that they receive, most of the children will NEVER make it to this page.  I decided that I would go take a peek for fun.  I was hit like a ton of bricks when I gazed on her beautiful little face.  HOW in the world did THIS baby make it to the website?

I have looked at hundreds of profiles on some shared list sites and NEVER have I had such a strong feeling over a child and the short profile listed.  The medical needs were not ones that my husband and I had checked on our profile, but the more that we looked at her adorable photo the more my heart ached for her.  My husband (who is taking longer to educate on some of the medical needs) even said things like “she is a girl- she can grow her hair longer to cover her partially formed ear”.  “Well she is already getting treatment for her club feet.”  “I know plenty of people with partial hearing loss that have no problems.”  HOW DID SHE MAKE IT TO THIS LIST? 

My husband soon said to email CCAI to get more info, so I did just that.  I even woke up the next morning and called the waiting child contacts at CCAI to see how this worked since I had never asked for more info on a child.  I was told that since they have gone through all 250 + profiles to find a match and had been unsuccessful with finding the right fit- now it was based on first come= first to view the full profile.  I was told that there had been a fair amount of interest shown for this young lady and that the list was getting longer all morning.

The next part of the conversation was the hardest for me.  I asked if it would be a problem that we were having home study issues.  “oh no- not a problem.”  Will it be a problem that my birthday isn’t until June 22?  “Let me find out.”

When Sarah got back on the phone the first words out of her mouth were, “well I have bad news.”  That is never a great opener.  Since we are not ready to send in a LOI, we have to be moved to the bottom of the list to view her full profile.  SO- basically, because I am not yet 30- too bad so sad.  She is ready to be adopted.  She is ready for a family that can submit a LOI.  Right now we don’t meet those qualifications. 

I just need to stay away from the profiles until June smile_sad

On the positive side (because there has to be one) it did open up dialog between my husband and myself.  We have now added club foot and partial hearing loss to our check list.  With this heart break it has opened our eyes to more things that we feel we can handle.  Somewhere out there is OUR little one.  We still need to make ourselves ready for him/her.


aj9900 said...

Oh Nancy, I can really feel your initial excitement and subsequent disappointment in this post :-( I'm sorry things did not work out this time (I had no idea about the age 30 rule). My heart goes out to you. Big hugs to you both! Your child *is* waiting for you as you both are for that special one.

Steve n Coco said...

You know, this is so true. We have had our eyes opened by the SN of one child that we had no idea we would be willing to accept. We actually kept looking for a little girl that was on the LWB blog a few times-- she was gorgeous and we were in love! As it turned out, though, it was not this particular little girl that God was leading us to, rather, it was her SN! Our Ping Ping has the same SN as the little girl we just fell in love with. Amazing how that works!

Also, I'm so happy for you that you figured out you could start you paperwork before 30 years old!! I didn't realize I could have started mine then and I felt like I "wasted time" (which obviously now I know I haven't). You will find your child-- the right child for you.
Be blessed,