Thursday, May 14, 2009

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is not my favorite day.  Ray and I have been married for 7 years.  Next month I will turn 30.  This whole becoming a mother thing was not supposed to be so difficult.  You come off birth control and voila- your pregnant.  Not so much for us.  I had a little melt down.  I was supposed to be a mother by 30 but instead I am waiting ever so patiently (not really) for my 30th birthday to arrive so that my paperwork can go to China.  So that I can ask about profiles and look at pictures again.

A friend at work told me that her music minister was especially sensitive to this very important group of women on Mother’s Day.  He and his wife had had lots of trials with pregnancy (multiple miscarriages) before becoming parents.  He recounted to the congregation the many Mother’s Days that were tear filled and full of grief.  He sent out a special prayer and call for prayer for all of those that Mother’s Day was hard for.  That is what I want this post to reflect.

I love my mother and my sisters who are mothers.  I love the fact that I WILL be a mother someday.  All I know is that for right now- my arms are empty and my heart aches.  Please pray for and remember all of us women whom Mother’s Day is difficult for.   


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post! As a mom-to-be waiting for her first, you touched my heart.
Every Mother's Day since we started trying to get pregnant (going on 9 years now), it's been a difficult day for me. I am blessed to share the day each year with my husband and one or both of our moms, but inside it's sad and painful.
I, like you, sincerely appreciate our moms, sisters, and friends who are moms. I put on a brave face (especially the many years they were not aware of our struggles), but attending church on Mother's Day is especially hard.
Each year they ask that all the mom's stand up and be recognized and receive a special blessing. This is a very special moment for those ladies, and well-deserved. But, difficult. I feel for all those women who remain seated who are grieving, and I wish that somehow the church would respectfully acknowledge those who struggle as well. It's really great to hear of a minister that understands.
After I wished my MIL a Happy Mother’s Day, she said... maybe next year I'll be wishing you a Happy Mother's Day (unlikely with our LID of 02/10/07) and I couldn't help but point out that I am an expecting mom. Then, I thought about how if I were pregnant with a big belly, how people would be swarming with Mother's Day wishes. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair.
Oh well, I shed a few silent, private tears with my dear husband later, and moved on dreaming of the day I hold my sweet baby girl.
Thanks for sharing this message. It means a lot to all in our position. Happy Belated Mother’s Day!!!

aj9900 said...

Big hugs to you, Nancy. Your child in waiting is so lucky because they will have such an incredible mother.

Ash said...

{{Hugs}} to you Nancy; I find your posts are most admired, respected, deeply compassionate & heartfelt. I enjoy reading and take inspiration from your thoughts/posts. Thank you for blogging openly about your journey to your daughter & to motherhood. Happy belated Mother's Day to you. :o) Don't you fret, "you are a mom". You're "paper pregnant" as the affectionate term in the adoption community calls it as you gather your paperwork for LID. You and your daughter will meet soon, when the moment is perfect. Blessings to you on this journey.
Faithfully following your journey to Xiao Hai.
your ccai friend

Anonymous said...

a post i can certainly relate to. i totally get it.

just wanted to say that i was definitely thinking about you on mothers day...very hopeful thoughts. :)